The first few days, upon waking, I still turned on my iPad first thing to open the Facebook app only to remember it is no longer there. This causes me to realize that I consistently put "checking Facebook" first, not God or my family. I have found myself very lonely without the sense of connection that is provided by regularly scrolling my news feed and I have found myself disheartened that folks have not missed me enough to text or email. This has caused me to realize how out of touch I am from actual live people. It is easy to blame this on others but it takes two to maintain a relationship so I am at least 50% responsible for my neglected or failing relationships. When I have been out in public places where other adults were glued to their phones I have felt sad and frustrated that they appear to be favoring the internet over a live person sitting in front of them. This causes me to realize that I often take the live person in front of me for granted, not making the most of my time with them. I still find myself turning to the internet (Pinterest, blogs) when difficult moments arise throughout the day like a preschooler refusing to listen, throwing a tantrum or doing other things that are generally frustrating or annoying. But those forms of social media definitely do not fill the void the same way as Facebook so I find myself using TV more to pacify my daughter so I can "escape". This causes me to realize I am shirking my responsibility to discipline and teach my daughter consistently, only dealing with matters when they are totally out of control and can no longer be ignored. My house is still mostly a mess with dirty toilets and layers of dust, my sewing machine is untouched, Christmas gifts unmade, I haven't been to the gym or planned meals. This causes me to realize that I am tired and a bit lazy. Facebook is not to blame for all the things I have not gotten done, I am.
November 25, 2013
And just like that, a week ago I disappeared from the universe, I mean Facebook.....gasp! I could wax eloquent on how I reached this point but I will just share that it took five months of God telling me to do it before I obeyed so it was not a hasty decision. I plan to return sometime in January but cannot rule out the possibility that this could be a permanent change for me. Either way, minimally, I should have a seven week period without the distraction (and comfort) of Facebook, ample time to explore how it is impacting me and therefore, my relationships, for good or bad.